That phone rang for the first time on May 9, 1990. It was 27 years ago that a single person made a single phone call to report something she'd heard. The chain of events that would ensue after just that one phone call would forever change every moment of the rest of my life and the lives of so many other people.
On that day, a social worker was told that she would need to a 6th grade girl some tough questions. On that day, a young girl had to share her deepest, darkest secrets with total strangers. On that day, a mother's world was turned upside down. On that day, a brother was ignored. On that day, a father had to answer for his choices. On that day, a social worker had to make a decision. On that day, a relative was asked to step in. On that day, a family was forever changed.
Nine days later, another phone call. The relative was no longer willing or able to help.
Another phone call. A child is placed into protective custody.
As I sit here and reflect on the life path that has brought me to this current moment in time, I am reminded of the importance and incredible significance of just one single moment in time and that phone call. I have spent much of my time this week asking myself the question "Why do I do what I do?" and thinking about the career choice I've made. I've wondered "What is the point?", "Is what we do really better?", and "Is this where I'm supposed to be?" I've thought about why I spent 12 years persevering through college and graduate school to get the degree I knew I would need to really do what I wanted to do. I've thought about the jobs I've held since I was 18 years old and how each of those jobs has brought me here, to this place, in this moment. I've thought about all I've learned and the training I received from each of those positions. I've thought about all the children, youth, and families I've worked with over the last 18 years and I've remembered so many of the stories I've read and heard. I've imagined the faces of so many young people who needed to be told, some for the first time, just how special they are and I've wondered what impact I've had on their lives. I've imagined all the couches and kitchen tables that I've used to get to know families better. I've thought about decisions I've made - decisions made with families and decisions made for families. I've reflected on the guidance I've given to others in this work and I've wondered how, or perhaps, whether I've helped to shape the work of a larger system. All the while asking myself "Is it working?"
I've, thought, too, of my own family and my children. I've considered where I've placed them on my priority list and the investment I'm making in their lives each day. I've thought about what I am teaching them and what I am modeling for them about their place in this world and the role of family. I've reflected on the example I am setting for each of them, my sons and my daughters, and about what sort of life they may have someday when they each become parents.
Essentially, I've been refocusing and realigning.
Early this morning, I found my footing. I was reminded of that first call, 27 years ago. I was reminded of my own journey and all the crossroads that existed within my own story. I felt drawn to thoughts of the person who answered the call and passed it on. I recalled the face of the people who came to the school and the people who showed concern. I remembered how I felt in those moments and all the questions I had. I remembered wondering what would my brother do or think. I recalled the look on my mother's face when she was told what was happening. I imagined my brother's confusion and even my father's nervousness. My mind was flooded with the collection of faces of the social workers, therapists, group home staff, foster families, teachers, and court folks who would touch my life over the next several years. I thought about each decision that was made and I considered how the outcome would be different if even one decision had gone another way. I thought about each "call" that was made over my life and I remembered that I, too, had gotten a "call".
God placed me in this field. God called me to be a social worker. God called me to serve in child welfare. God called me to use my voice to share a message of worth, value, importance to families and to children. God placed me in a position of leadership because He equipped me to teach, guide, and encourage others. God has called me to hold others up when they feel low and to recognize those who do this remarkably hard work, to be their encourager. God uses each family's case to teach me something, and he used mine to teach me the importance of the "family" in child welfare. He reminded me, today, to consider each case individually, to call each person by name, to remember that each person in each case is a person, not a case! God reminded me that each and every decision means the trajectory of each individual life will change forever with every decision made. I was reminded today that the circumstances which drive me nuts are doing so because those are the circumstances that should be driving me forward. I need not to feel blocked by those obstacles and challenges that come up in this work, but I need to be fired up by them, encouraged to keep on persevering. I need to keep my focus fixed on identifying the obstacles and working to develop solutions. Every obstacle can be overcome! This only seems to be insurmountable!
Why push on and keep doing this work, when it seems to be so much more work than we'll ever be able to really accomplish?
The answer is because the phone will ring again. There will always be a family in need. There will always be someone to make the call. There will always be someone who is reaching out. The phone will ring again. There will always be someone who can't find their voice. There will always be more to consider. There will always be a reason why not to do it, but all of those reasons will never outweigh the one simple reason to keep do it.
The phone will ring again.
I want to answer the call.
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May is #FosterCareMonth. You may be feeling called to support a struggling or hurting family in your community. You may be called to report a concern. You may be called to serve as a foster care family. You may be called to change your career and join us in the work. Whatever the call you're receiving, please be willing to answer! Families and children need you!
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